Edward Cullen Tribute Cold
by twilight-lover98016
Summary: Song-Fic. Told from Edward's POV it starts when he leaves Bella and Ends when Rosalie comes and tells him about Bella jumping off the cliff. sorry I suck at summaries


"Bella, I don't want you to come with me

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I looked into her soft, warm, brown eyes and wished I hadn't said what I just did. I could tell it was hurting her...but I had to protect her. I had to keep her safe and if lying to her was going to save her, then I was going to do it. Even if it caused both of us to be in pain. She looked at me, confused, trying to understand what I was saying. Then a few seconds later she finally understood.

"You...don't...want me?" She asked, the hope fading from her eyes. they looked lifeless now. Like there was nothing left in her. I stared into her eyes for what seemed like hours. I could see the hurt in her eyes but luckily she couldn't see mine. I tried to make it seem like there were no emotions in me when I answered her.

"No." I said it as cold and bluntly as possible, wishing I could take it back. I didn't want to leave her like this...I didn't want to leave her thinking that I didn't love her anymore, because I still did. When it was time to say goodbye I inhaled her scent for the last time, making her promise me that she would take care of herself for Charlie's sake, then I kissed the top of her forehead and ran. I knew she was following me, or trying to at least but I never looked back I just kept running.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and I still couldn't get her out of my mind. I didn't hunt, I didn't hang out with my family like I used to. I visited them every once in awhile but without Bella nothing was the same. Day after day I would sit in a corner of my room and just listening to music, trying not to think about how much pain I left her in. I growled silently and put my earphones in my ears. A familiar song started to play and I smiled ever so slightly.

_**Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right.**_**  
**_**I never stopped to think of you**_

_"Yeah you idiot, you never stopped to think about how much pain you and her were going to be in." I thought angrily._

_**I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win**_

_Memories of James flashed back into my head and I snarled. I almost lost Bella because of that bastard. He's one of the reasons I had to leave her; it's because of vampires like him that Bella isn't safe when she's with me._

_**You are the antidote that gets me by**_**  
**_**Something strong like a drug that gets me high**_

I smiled at this part of the song. The song was right, Bella was..._is_ my antidote, my drug that I can't get enough of. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed as I remembered her soft brown hair, her milk chocolate colored eyes, her pink blushing cheeks, but most of all I remembered her scent. Even though I'm a million miles away I could still smell her as if she was standing right next to me.

_**What I really meant to say **_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**What I really meant to say**_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_

Yes...the day I left her...I was cold, as cold as ice. Maybe even colder. I growled a little as I remembered the tears building up in her eyes as I ran; I could smell the salt in the air. I even heard her trip and I still didn't stop running. I left her heart-broken; in the middle of the woods...yes I was _very cold to her that day._

_**To you I'm sorry about all the lies**_

_"Yes...I did lie. Everything I said to you that day was a lie and I'm sorry."_

_**Maybe in an different light**_**  
**_**You could see me stand on my own again**_

_"That's the problem, I can't go back. So I'll never be happy...not unless you're with me and because I put you in so much danger we can't be together. So I'll never be happy again...I'll never love again."_

_**Cause now I can't see**_

_"Yes...without you Bella, I can't see. My night is now a moon-less night. There are no stars, no moon, and no nothing. Just darkness..."_

_**You are the antidote that got me by**_**  
**_**Something strong like a drug that gets me high**_**  
**_**What I really meant to say**_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**What I really meant to say**_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_

_**I never really wanted you to see**_**  
**_**The screwed up side of me that I keep**_

_"Yes...I never wanted you to know that I was a monster that would only end up hurting you. I wanted you to live a happy, normal, human life but I just couldn't stay away...I love you to much. I love you so much that now I'm forcing myself to stay away from you even though it hurts. It feels like I left my heart with you...like you took what was left of my soul and there's no way for me to get it back."_

_**Locked inside of me so deep**_**  
**_**It always seems to get to me**_**  
**_**I never really wanted you to go**_

_"No. I didn't want to leave you but I had to."_

_**So many things you shouldn't have know**_

_"You shouldn't have found out about me and who I really was...you should've kept your distance like I told you to."_

_**I guess for me there's just no hope**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_

_"Yes there is no hope. I'll never be able to see your beautiful face again. I'll never be able to see you blush scarlet again. I'll never be able to hold you and inhale your delicious scent again. There are one million things that I'll never be able to do with you because of what I am. So the song is right...there is no hope anymore."_

_**What I really meant to say **_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**What I really meant to say**_**  
**_**Is I'm sorry for the way I am**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_**  
**_**I never meant to be so cold**_

I hissed a little at the end of the song because the lyrics fit perfectly to how I was feeling right now. They described everything. And I hissed because of the thoughts in my head. They were painful to admit but they were true none the less. Which made the ache in my chest even worse. After I meet Bella I finally felt like I had a heart again and now...I'm back to where I started. No heart, no emotions, no nothing.

Rosalie walked up to me then with a sad look on her face. She didn't speak; she let her thoughts do the talking.

_"Edward...I don't know how to tell you this but...Alice saw a vision of Bella jumping off a cliff-" _I cut her off right there.

"I know that already Rose and I told Alice not to look into her future anymore. Go away please." I begged a little at the last part. I was in to much pain to be around anyone, let alone Rosalie.

_"Let me finish...Alice never saw Bella resurface, she drowned Edward...Bella's dead."_

I looked Rosalie in the eyes and would've glared at her if I could. But for some reason I knew she was telling the truth. Problem was I wasn't willing to accept it. My Bella couldn't be dead...that's just not possible...she promised. At that moment I took out my sliver cell phone and dialed her number. I had to make sure for myself that Bella was dead. I wasn't going to accept it until I knew for sure. The phone rang until someone picked it up.

_"Swan residence." A voice answered._

"Is Charlie there, I need to speak to him." I said.

_"He's not here." The voice said with a little bit of acid in his voice._

My worst fears had been realized. I already knew the answer to my next question without even asking it. "Where is he?" I asked my voice sounded dead.

_"**At the funeral." The voice said.**_

I hung up the phone then and glared at Rosalie who left as soon as she saw my face. Then I sat down against the wall again. If I still had a heart it would've stopped...without a doubt, it would've stopped and I would be dead...and with the one I loved. I replayed the end of my song again, singing along this time as I got up to put my phone in the trash can that was next to me.

_"**I never meant to be so cold."**_

**_I hope you guys enjoyed it reviews would be great! and i'll be posting a Jacob and Nessie one shot song fic ( like this one) later tonight._**


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